My Panic Attack Story
To give you a little background information on me I am a 30 year old man from a small town called Epping New Hampshire. I live with my wife Jenn and my 2 children (my son Dylan is 7 and my daughter Peyton is 1 ½ ).
I have always been a friendly kind of guy. I like to keep bad situations in perspective and joke them off if I possibly can.
I’ve always tried to live life to the fullest and not let things that I can’t control right now bother me. If something bad might happen in 2 years why spend 2 years petrified with fear if you can’t do anything about it now?
Looking at life this way I have always felt a certain inner confidence in myself (please don’t think I’m bragging, I am simply trying to illustrate my personal outlook on life before panic attacks).
When I first started having panic attacks about 8 years ago that all changed. I didn’t turn into a mean person or anything like that, but I no longer felt care free. Suddenly I felt unsure of myself. I didn’t even know what to call this problem that I was dealing with.
The first time I ever had a panic attack was when my wife told me she was pregnant with my son. Its not that I don’t like children, but we were only 21 at the time and our finances were shaky at best!(You might feel a little nervous too;))
All she did was throw a pregnancy test on the table and sat on the couch looking at me nervously. As I picked it up and realized what the plus sign symbolized I started hyperventilating for the first time in my life! My heart started racing and I simply couldn’t catch my breath so my wife gave a bag to breath into until I calmed down.
We both just figured that this was shocking news considering that we were not planning to have a child at that time and I had an extreme reaction. No big deal, right? It never happened before so why would it happen again?
Looking back years later that was the first mini-attack I ever experienced and I didn’t even realize it.
I call that first panic attack a "mini" attack because it was the shortest episode I had ever had and the symptoms were much less severe than the attacks I would have in the upcoming months and years.
As the next few years went on I kept having these attacks, only more intense feeling than before. They were always right around the time of some kind of stressful situation like struggling with finances or a death in the family so I just chalked it up to stress every time.
I would say I averaged about 2-3 attacks every month. This is certainly not a lot compared to some of the people I have met, but it was enough to dread going out to events where a lot of people would be around.
I even started beating myself up about it telling myself to “be a man and get over it” or even “stop being a sissy!”. I absolutely hate the feeling of being powerless and out of control, as I have learned many others do as well. I'm afraid that with panic attacks that is always how you feel, powerless and out of control.
As I write these words it seems so obvious to me now that I was making my own problem worse. Mentally chewing myself out about these “tantrums” as I used to call them was not stopping them at all. If anything I believe it was fueling them even more. And of course the more you beat yourself up about it the worse you feel about yourself.
Keep in mind that this whole time I didn’t even know I had a problem, just tantrums every now and again.
Why I created this Blog
So now I’ll get to the point of why I created this blog. It took me at least a full year of anxiety before I even entertained the idea that I might be experiencing panic attacks. I finally confided in my wife what was secretly bothering me and she suggested that I get tested for anxiety disorder and panic attacks. That was when I finally had a label for what had been tormenting me.
I found when I searched for information on panic attacks and how to deal with them if not completely cure them that there was a lot of technical jargon on big websites.
Web MD and places like that had a ton of information, but I got lost in all the technical names for anxiety meds and learning about deep relaxation techniques.
Does any of this work?
Can this really stop my panic attacks?
That’s all I wanted to know!
I came across a product called “Panic Away” that helped me to finally get rid of panic attacks by facing them head on.
When you experience these attacks there is nothing worse than thinking that you could have an embarrassing attack at a friendly get together or maybe have an attack so severe that it pushes you completely over the edge.
With out realizing it you are actually giving your panic attacks more power by accepting these thoughts as logical facts. Panic Away helped me realize that I could take control over my condition and my life.
Throughout my research of panic attacks, why they happen and the common remedies for panic attacks I have gained some personal insight. Some of the things people say do not help panic attacks can in fact help while other remedies that people praise may not work so well for you.
To sum up, I am trying to develop a blog that would have helped me to understand anxiety and panic attacks more quickly. I feel like I was on a wild goose chase for months looking for answers and finding very little that truly helped. Hopefully I can save you some time and get you the straight answers on how to cure panic attacks and keep your general anxiety down enough to enjoy life again.
